Saturday, September 22, 2007

Contractually Obligated Post OR Unemployment Tale (COPOUT)

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and all gender opposites alike, here comes my September update, as I am legally required to write at least one entry per month. Yes, that contract I made myself sign has come back to bite me in the ass.

Since early September, I have been officially unemployed for the first time since I was 14 years old, and oh what a crazy two and a half weeks it has been. My return to Madison was bittersweet, sweet to be back, me bitter toward life. The only thing that keeps me going is the noticeable increase in homeless people, for it makes me realize I don't have it so bad, or worse, my life could be void of the laughter they provide me.

I have applied for more than half a baker's dozen of jobs, and have yet to secure any of them. "But Mike, this must be soul-crushing. Surely your soul is being crushed. Is not a person's soul crushed during times like this?" people frequently ask. Short answer, "Yes," long answer, "No."

The key is to entertain yourself, which I am fairly good at, since I know my audience so well. Below is a real question I was asked during a job application process to test my creativity, followed by my ten answers.

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