Today at work, I was mistakenly referred to as a doctor. “Dr. Peters,” she began her e-mail. This wasn’t meant as a joke or to slight my actual title (which I believe is officially “Ms. Peters” or “Hey Asshole”). No, this was an honest misconception.
It made me realize something. A simple addition like “Dr.” to the front of my name (or a “Ph.D.” after it) could propel my career. And I don’t mean earning the title. That would take time, money, and, worst of all, energy. I’m talking about merely adding those two letters before my name.
No one would know the difference, and I guarantee it would rarely be questioned. If asked about my education, I’d reply, “It was a bitch.” It must have been a bitch. He’s a doctor, for crying out loud, the person would internally rationalize. He or she would then enjoy a hearty chuckle, agree with the statement, and move on to more important business. As they should, I’m a doctor and don’t have time for small talk.
Anyway, I’ll be ordering my business cards soon and will have to decide if I want to change my life forever. Next time I see you, maybe I can show off my brand new Ph.D., proudly documented on a 3.5 by 2 inch piece of cardstock. After all, I'd have a right to show it off. It was a bitch to get.